Falling
by you call me a STRANGER
Summary: Falling. Always.. Falling. I know i must do it. I have to fall until i find the strength to fly...   But Falling is Fatal.    -i couldnt wrie a good summary so... just read it!-


Disclaimer: I do not own Wizards of Waverly Place or any of the Characters used. (Accept Abby, Abby is all mine :] )

AN: Although i never liked Dean and Alex on the show, but i'm starting to like them **now.**

Well, you know what they say, you don't realize how much you love a couple until the show **cancels** them.

And to all Jalex fans, MWAH-HA-HA-HA.

(kidding. This was actually intened to be a Jalex until i started writing it and... my keyboard decided what to type! Blame my keyboard!)

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_one._

It's funny what people say about smoking. It's bad; it's wrong. The way the government is constantly contradicting what they said sixty years ago about smoking being _good _for you. The lies they tell you about it being an addiction caused by peer pressure and a cure for stress. Lies. How can you ever understand someone that contradicts themselves _that _much? I don't know why I am smoking. I tried it once or twice but it never played an important role in my life - well, I never thought Mason would play such an important role. I have a habit. A stinking habit of falling - to hard, to fast. It's not really something that I can explain. Riley was my first boyfriend and sure, he was nice and sweet and hella hot but.. Nothing more then that. Then there was Dean - I swore we'd be together forever. The way he made me feel.. Beautiful - Although he never said it. I liked the fact that he returned the feelings. He loved me possibly even more then I loved him. I still love him. As a friend of course. People think that the break-up was the end, they always do, but me and Dean are still very close. We talk on the phone and he tells me about his girlfriend, and I smile. I'm happy that he has moved on and that despite all the rumours about keeping your ex's close to you being bad idea, I like that he's there. I trust him. The way he _still _makes me feel beautiful. The way he called Mason a loser when I told him about our break-up. Of course I didn't tell him the truth… - I couldn't. I told him about Mason's British accent and his little obsession of painting me; Then I told him that he was always leaving and I found out that he was cheating. That was about the closest to the truth I could get. A part of me wanted to tell him the whole truth, - That I am a wizard, that I'm always acting out and walking on a tightrope, that Justin is my safety net, that my last boyfriend was a werewolf (although probably still an improvement on a vampire), And that I am pregnant. Pregnant to my runaway wolf boyfriend. Yes, pregnant.

It was just before the secrets came out. He was always leaving and I was always following. I wanted to trust him. Most of all, I wanted to love him and for him to love me back. I didn't want to lose him. So one day I invited him over. He agreed and came over for dinner - I _didn't_ feed him. My parents were out and I took it as my chance. I thought sharing my virginity with him would convince him to stay, but he still left. I felt alone. Battered, beaten, bruised… and alone. When I learned his secret and in return shared my own, I was relieved. Relieved that I wasn't hiding anything. More relieved that he wasn't either. Relieved that he _did _love me. Relieved that my first time wasn't meaningless. So relieved that I did it again. This time a lot more natural. Like I wasn't trying; Like love was battling with lust and I really didn't care who won. I loved him. I _still _love him.

_Falling. _

The vibrating feel in my pants sends me out of my trance and back to reality. Yes, I turn my phone on vibrate. I can still hear it and.. I just like the feeling. I look down and realize the cigarette has burnt right down to the bottom and sigh as I chuck it to the ground and stub it out. Why do my thoughts always get the best of me? I pull my phone out of my pocket and bring it up to my ear. "Hello?"

Saying hello as a question is pointless. Harper lives with me and Mason is gone which leaves the phone calls to one person - Dean. It just seems that any other response to a vibrating phone would be wrong, - Rude even. "Hey," His voice is reassuring. Now that Harper lives with me and is 'officially a Russo' I feel as though I can not tell her my secrets: You don't tell family your secrets. So that leaves Dean the rightful owner of my heart, - My best friend. "I can't believe your awake." I say, laughing a little to myself. It's almost 2am and although this is usually a typical time for a conversation between me and Dean, the fact that he has been going to school lately (to see his girlfriend) means our are phone calls are limited to daytime hours only. "Yeah, I ditched." I suddenly realize how cold it is and tug my jacket tighter around my chest. Then I think that maybe the cold weather is why Dean ditched after he tried so hard to stay in school. "What about Abby?" Abby is your typical miss chatty. She's sweet and innocent and wears frilly dresses in winter. She likes baking, playing with her hair and long walks. She's the cute girl that everybody fantasies about, - the one they all want to 'deflower'. Lord only knows why she picked Dean. "Ah, she wasn't well today." I blink a couple of times to try and make sure that my ears were working properly and that it wasn't just the cold messing with my brain. "The famous Abby, model student of the year, got sick?" There was a lot of sarcasm in my voice but the right amount, the amount to make him laugh. I'd seen pictures of Abby and heard all about her feeble attempts to change him but I'd never actually met her. I want to. As of right now, I decide that I want to meet Abby. Then I think about it. The thought I'm trying to push away from my mind. The thought that keeps coming back. She'd know. She's a girl, they always know. It's like they can sense it. What am I doing? What am I- "I'm pregnant." The line goes awfully silent. I knew I'd regret it. I knew I'd regret it before I even said it. "Alex," His voice is soft, sympathetic. I don't want sympathy. I've probably just ruined the best relationship I have. "Who's the father?" I know what he's thinking. I can hear it, sense it. He's praying that it's a good guy, someone who deserves me. Not.. A lying cheating scumbag, - the guy he thinks Mason is. I gulp. Should I tell him. Should I lie? If I tell him, he'll go after Mason. If I don't… I honestly don't know. And that's what I tell him, "I don't know." "Oh Alex,"

Now he's thinking that I am a slut. A girl who gives it up to everyone - everyone but him. I feel the need to reassure him. To bring back just a small part of my innocence. "I mean, it's between a couple guys." I hope this make it sound better. A couple is better then a whole bunch, right? "Mason?" He asks and I can hear the furry he's trying to hide. "..Maybe." I gulp again. He's my best friend, I can't lie to him. I decide that telling him Mason is a possibility makes what I'm saying true. That I'm technically not lying. "I'm going to kill him. I'm going to track that asshole down and I swear Alex, I will kill him." I try to calm him down, tell him that I was just as responsible as Mason was but something he says stops me. "I would do life for you Alex. You're my best friend and I am not going to let you go through this alone." A small moment of silence and then.. Nothing.

_Falling. _

I try to get the dial tone out of my head. Convince myself that the reason for the line going dead is because he ran out of credit. Please lord, tell me he just ran out of credit.

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Are you at the edge of your seat? Are you so close to the computer screan that your chair is standing on only the front two legs and your unaware that you could fall smack bang on your face at any minute and you wouldn't even care if you did? hehee.

I'm exagerating. i know. Whatever, it gets better. :)

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Reviews make me super smileyyyy ... smileyyyy makes me want to write more... i'l bribe you with virtual cookies...


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